Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Dil, Dosti Etc.

So, When Gupta told me that "uska kat gaya", I deciphered that his tryst with destiny had finally come to an end. Gupta is a close friend & we have seen together many crests & troughs in life. In college we were inseparable. Those were the days when guys could be close friends without being mistaken for being "Gays".

Gupta was a complete contrarion to me. If I was thin & dark, Gupta was plump & fair. If I was an iconoclast, he was a traditionalist. If I was agnostic about religion, he was a devout Hindu. If I was having a humble upbringing, Gupta was born with a silver spoon. If I lacked total sense of dressing, then Gupta was all style & panache. But I think the one thing that connected us more than anything else was our great ability to fall for females at the drop of a hat.

It was in December 2000, that we were stuck with a grave problem. At 10:00 pm in the night, both of us realised that we had no idea of how to value ESOPS. After much debate it was decided to call upon for help Ms. X. Ms. X was the topper of the class & of course the "bomb shell" of the class. There was an intense debate between us on who will call her. Many pillows & bedsheets were sacrificed in the ten minute pillow fight. Until Gupta finally confessed, "Srini, I am in love with her." At the point of being called upon to sacrifice my infatuation for a friend, I gleefully offered it. Having failed to resist the temptation I ended up making frequent passes at the girl in question without the knowledge of Gupta. Though I never gave it a real shot, on hindsight I think I did manage to accomplish the unsaid objective of impressing her. Gupta on the other hand, tried everything he could from writing poetry to her to sending flowers to her residence that said "Guess who" (She never guessed it & when Gupta confessed he got a dressing down he will never forget. Yours truly was an accomplice to the crime). But she was beyond his reach anyways. So, when Gupta finally threw his hands up in the air, I was there for him. For days together, we discussed on where he (we) went wrong. Why couldn't the hottest girl in the class be his? Gupta never found an answer, but he did find a girl. (P.S. years later, I cleared the air with Gupta & confessed on my clandestine attempts on Ms. X. For the crime, Gupta gave me a friendly box in the ear & to date my mother complains that something is wrong with my hearing)

This Girl Miss Y was possibly the reason why Me & Gupta grew apart in the second year of college. Gupta became very recluse after the Miss X fiasco. Though, we were involved in the organization of our college's seminar, I could clearly sense a distance between us. Gupta also started to bunk classes. I was told that he was calling sick for college. But soon after Gupta appeared cheerful. His zest for life returned and it was heartening to see him smile & crack senseless jokes. We were all very surprised & concerned. As the second year came to an end, Gupta was again found remorseful. The day our seminar concluded, all of us were so overwhelmed at having brought to life a thought, we had tears in our eyes. But Gupta for some reason was crying profusely. Soon, we started smiling but Gupta couldnt hold on to his tears. After much suasion, gupta confessed that he had broken off with his girlfriend. "GIRLFRIEND", I shouted. And then he told us the whole story. He had met her on chat, then they became friends "aur phir kab pyaar ho gaya pata hi nahi chala". In his own words. Just when the involvement was becoming too difficult to handle, they broke off because they thought that EVENTUALLY it may not work out. Very thoughtful but very stupid. (Many years later, I will repeat the same mistake).

That was the start of the test of our friendship. I became busy with my preparation for MBA entrance & so did Gupta. In the general confusion that happens in a campus, both of us found new and interesting friends. We did manage to spend time with each other, but it was more a formality than anything else - exchange of notes, lift back home, discussion on MBA colleges & many other mundane things. Somewhere both of us lost touch with each other's pulse & we never felt it. Both of us never felt entirely comfortable with the kind of friends we were hanging out with but none had the guts or felt the urge to point it out. Th funny thing was that we would catch up on each other's life from common friends.

In the last semester, things turned around suddenly. At the start of the semester all of us knew our MBA colleges, so the tenseion had eased out considerably. One day, while waiting for my bus, Gupta stopped his car near the bus stop. "Why the hell do you waste two hours of your time commuting in buses?" Gupta shouted from his car. I shouted back, "Because I have a Rs. 30 bus pass which is valid in buses only." Gupta responded, "You know Srini, being a baniya I have more sense of money than you. I think time is more valuable than money." While driving back Gupta broached the idea of "Car Pool". I thought, for a second, and then readily agreed. The last semester was great fun as we indulged ourselves in many a long drives, endless discussions on life, universe and everything and of course the nearly daily outings for bhel puri at Kamla Nagar market. Both of us started to understand each other much better. The hiatus proved to be a much needed glue to our friendship. We were so happy discussing othe irrelevant things than lamenting about lost love.

When I was leaving for my MBA, Gupta came to see me off. It was touching to say the least. After my second trimester ended, I made a brief visit home. The night before I was to leave, Gupta came home at 11 pm in the night. We drove at a nearby tea stall. The elaichi flavored tea was just the right boost in the nail biting winter. Hesitantly he told me, "I am in love". I was at complete loss of words. Though, there could have been many words that I could have used at that moment, but the one word that kept knocking the door of my lips were , "AGAIN...". Gupta continued, "I met her at my brother's marriage. She is from Mumbai. If all goes well, we might get married in the next couple of months." The hot sip floating in my mouth finally found an exit with a gulp. I could have said many things, asked many questions, but I just wanted to make him feel good & confident about the whole thing. I just said, "Let me know the date of the marriage, I will have a lot to manage to make it to your wedding.". We hugged & Gupta had tears in his eyes.

Back at my MBA, as my turbulent first year came to an end, on the first day of my summer training, I got a call from Gupta. I kept saying hello with no response on the other side. Here was I, terribly nervous on my first corporate exposure & on top of that Gupta was not speaking. He cut the phone without saying a word. I was worried. After concluding my first day, I called him from an STD booth. "Hey, what happned? Are you ok?". Gupta gave a very cold reply. After a pause he said, "She is getting married next month." Now, I was the one who was at complete loss of words. Though he didnt cry on the phone that time, but I could feel the pain in his voice as he narrated to me the chain of events. The girl was just deriving some sense of sadistic pleasure by keeping him involved. I was like WTF. But then such are people. For months together after that Gupta kept the pain inside him & emersed himself in his work. He was so involved that he rarely found time to call.

The change that happened after that was quite apparant. Gupta was no longer the emotional kind. Everything in life was now measureable & quantifiable. Everything in Life was a Profit & Loss account. "What is in it for me?" became the attitude of Gupta. Gupta also had a physical makeover. From the plumpy & baby faced Gupta, he turned into a lean six-packed macho. Our talks are now centered around Stocks, money, his business and my job. It lacks the humane touch that I so long from Gupta. Gupta, meanwhile, finally resigned to the fate of arranged marriage. He met numerous girls. Some friends say that the figure is pegged at nearly 50, spread over 4 years, but I dont acknowledge it. His parameters of judging his life partner are quite stringent - Beautiful, slim, well educated, not working, housewife, family oriented and what not. I never questioned any of these things as I have never done it in the past. He was patient & he finally found one that is pretty close to what he is looking for.

So, when Gupta announced that he was getting married, it seemed that life has indeed taken a full circle. From the days of being a reluctant lover to being a focussed life-partner seeker, I have seen him change. After all the trials & tribulations he went through in his love life, I wish him all the very luck in his married life. Will love find its way though the maze of Gupta's expectations? I think it will........

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Neha said...
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