I missed "Myself"

I was wondering why I have never had enemies or people I have hated. My pretentions at times confused me. There was nobody better than me and nobody couldn't be worse than me.


And then the realization dawned about a couple of days back while waiting for the last drop of beer dive into my mouth from the pint bottle held aloft like a trophy.


I have always been obsessed with myself. Whether it is my talent - a largely "underutilized" kitchen knife yet brandished like a sword at small public gatherings or my own experiments with people ending with some sort of heart pain. I have loved this outlook of life where I am the protogonist and I am the audience to the story of my life.


I cannot remain emersed under the ocean of grief like a saint on a penance and neither can I burst in laughter and joy like a cracker on fire. I do, however, violently swing between these two extremes like Tarzan. It irritates people....but who cares....


While reading through my old blog entries, I realised that I was at my expression best when I was most discontent. The pain and sorrow never took me to sea bed and the joy never took me to seventh heaven. That was a state where my thoughts were at their best as I was constantly at a state of "half empty glass".


Having reached both the crest and trough in the last year and half year, I am slowly switching to the mediocrity in life. In nut shell, I missed "Myself". There is no other way to describe it. So, soon there will be a spate of nice perspectives on life as this blog unfolds from hereon.