Not done Mr. Srinivas

I do not hve a great fan following as far as my blog goes (and otherwise as well in fact with my new found snobbish attitude, I am only losing them like the hair on my head). But then Mr. Mishra was quite caustic with his comments on my last blog on me being "on sale". "You are getting obsessed with your depression and Madam X"... I am always open to criticism and loved the fact that I was being pointed out a grave error in my lone creative pursuit.

He was right. Over the last few months, my depression was overshadowing my writing. I am found wanting of words and the ones that are penned are nothing but re-incarnation of "morose" malencholy. Not required when life otherwise is quite depressive. I realised a few things in the process. Even though you might have the greatest talent in the world, but talent with no audience is of practically no use. A creative pursuit must be backed by an equally appreciative following. The only way talent can flower is with practice and with appreciation. You cannot be forever be immersed in your life and "dress up" your creation with your true emotions. Fans appreciate your talent in your ability to retain them by connecting with them and not by spinning out a gyrating storyline and send them on the "discovery of India". Like Vasco-de-Gama, they might just end up discovering the West Indies.

I also realised that over time my keenness to observe people was getting overshadowed by the hangover of my experiences with them. My vision was getting clouded and I started suspecting my own subjects. I found myself more interesting as I was more truthful with myself. But the truth in itself is of no use if not presented appropriately. As friends were falling off like nine pins owing to our (me and my close friends') inability to match our co-ordinates of our dynamic lives drew me closer to Madam X, who in her avatar is quite unequivocal. I wanted no one around me and she was that "no one". I have lost faith in people and it will take sometime for it to return.

One thing I will promise henceforth is that I will ensure that the quality is not held ransom to my state of mind. I will try to innovate and make the reading refreshing. My apologies for the detereorating standard. Will try to match the expectation of the few readers that I have....

Thank you Mishraji