Bouncing people

When Atanu told me that he might be shifting to Kolkata after marriage, for a second something struck me..... I thought, "Atanu is leaving, Dev has given a few interviews in Mumbai & might also get relocated, Shagun's a drifter, Upasna is not here, Rachna is also too busy with her life, Gupta is a gonner, Shankar is too self obsessed, Arihant is now in Bangalore......"

It was staring at me. My next bounce from people. You keep bouncing from one person to another or from many to many others. There are few constants and many variables. It happens all the time. It happened in college, then in Post Grad, in Job & now life in general.

You build your relationships, grow old with them, learn together, but somehow the people around you never stay forever. I guess there are a few exceptions here and there, but I dont think that its possible to stay immobile in life and progress. You got to move on. Over time with certain people you become possessive and then when these people move out on their own you just are left with no option but to seek newer and enriching relations.

My parents spent a bulk of their lives in delhi and since my father worked in Delhi Government his friend circle remained fairly permanent. But in my case, since my PG, there have been a multitude of people that I have met at various cities and grown old with. Delhi, Nashik, Pune, Mumbai, Bangalore, Chennai and then back to Delhi.

There was this initial fear, when I heard what Atanu said, but then I realised that I have done this far too many times. Each time its been an amazing journey where I have lost myself totally in the character of the people I met only to find myself again......... colored with several shades of the people I met..

Holi and Introspection

Initially I thought that my next blog entry will be on Gupta's dhamakedaar shaadi, but then I found myself engulfed into an eternal boredom. I felt (and am still feeling) stuck. The drive to try and break the pattern is also missing. Each day dawns and night descends as if it was meant to be that way.



So, then when it started to weigh on me, I decided to introspect. Ashwin suggested, "lets go to tughlakabad. Its a historic place and you will find peace there." Seeing my reaction, we dropped the idea. We finally zeroed in on Rajghat at Mahatma Gandhi's Samadhi. I said, " will pick you up at 9 am". Ashwin retorted back, "Why the hell will you pik me up, we will go by Metro. People like you are so pseudo. Crying out for MRTS at public forums & crowd the roads with your bulky veihcles carrying just one passenger." I looked at him with vengeance and cdnt say a word. Not that I couldnt or didn't, but it just sounded so true for me that silence was my best arguement on offer.

In the morning, While rushing through my breakfast, my mother asked me where I was heading. I replied, "I am off for introspection today at rajghat". There was no reaction from her side, which was quite unexpected. I got on the Metro. It was going to be a long ride. I got down at Moti Nagar Metro station. Ashwin came a few mins late and said, "I guess I am on time as per IST. He giggled." I had no giggle to offer. We boarded the Metro.

Ashwin: I am thinking of resigning

Me: I thought you were shifting to Bangalore

Ashwin: I am nt getting a raise man (I raised an eyebrow). But this is logical. LAst year, the people who joined with me are all at salaries which is at a significant discount to those being hired this year. I am asking for a salary correction not a hike.

me: Whichever way you look at it, it is infact a hike right.

Ashwin: Yes, But then I cannot work for long at the salary that I am at today. I like the sector and the work I am doing, I am just asking for a commensurate remuneration. If they dont give it, I will look elsewhere.

Me: But in the same sector

Ashwin: Yes...

I thought to myself, " At least somebody is clear about something in life". We deboarded at Indraprastha station where the train terminates. We took an Auto to Rajghat. As we entered, there was hardly a soul around. We walked a few steps and found ourselves amidst total tranquility. "This place is just beside the ring road & you can hardly hear anything. " Ashwin said. " It could be because of the trees, they are good insulators of sound. We ascended a slope from where we could see the Samadhi. A few firangs here and there. That was the crowd.

We, then descended the slope on the other side and found a loner tree. I thought we will sit there. It was near the dustbin. I thought to myself, "All of us are in big shit anyways, whts the big deal about sitting near a dustbin." There were numerous thoughts that crossed my mind when I was there........" Republic Day & Indepenedence Day.......What a formailty for the great man......and who made this thing anyways..........I am sure they would have eaten into this contract as well....anways.........There is shaanti sthal as well.....where Indira Gandhi died.....God, the country needs her man..........wonder who should I vote for this election........Sonia Gandhi is not going to be the next PM....yes, thats for sure...........There, you go...another couple.....disgusting man.....at least they can leave these places alone man...........We do deserve a ram sena here......ram sena ram sena......That reminds me...........I can see it there.....the family of four....riding on a small and fragile looking LML.......a little boy standing in front......a thin man driving the scooter.........a little girl sandwiched between the man and a woman clad in a printed cotton saari.....its brown with white flowers on it.......its going at 40km/hr...or may be 50..........on the long wide road.........with cars zipping past.........with the afternoon sun beating down on them........they all look happy and content...........That used to be my family........we used to take the ring road to noida........it used to be a long journey....it still is......."

The mind kept getting cluttered with these random thoughts, some positive, some negative, some just did not have any relevance at all...IN nut shell, the supposed introspection was going nowhere.....Ashwin was getting restless & he finally broke the silence.....take me to a place in delhi which not many people know about.......That sounds better, I thought.

We took a bus, yes we took a bus.......Its been a long time since I took a bus.....Felt just like old days.......afterall I have also sacrificed my sweat on the flyovers on ring road........Those days DTC (Delhi Transport Corporation) used to make an All Route pass valid on all buses.......We would roam around aimlessly in Delhi........singing songs & making fun of each other at the backseat........And wind carefully sifting through your hair....yes, I had hair on my head.......lets not touch upon this sentimental subject of my flat top.......

There is a very nice place at Parliament street. Its called "People Tree". Its a different kind of shop. It mostly goes unnoticed. Its an ethnic place..prly only for firangs & for (pseudo) intellectuals) like me. You get books on varied subjects. Subjects like female foeticide, folk tales from punjab, rise of hindutva, is communism at an end...and loads of intersting topics.....I love going there. But the best part are those naturally colored clothes, stuff which resembles tantra but looks a little intellectual...that was really refreshing......

I returned with a very heavy head. The day I compromise on my afternoon nap on a holiday, my head starts spinning. I was not a new person when I returned back. Not that expected to be one. The visit hardly made any difference.

The next day was Holi. It really didnt matter much. I spent the entire day watching India thrash New Zealand and clapped my hands in joy. My four year old nephew roamed for two hours around the colony and came back unscathed. And when he found nobody to empty his pichkari, he happily drenched me. At least somebody was happy at the end of these two days.

Its a phase of life which I would not want anybody to go through. Its not depression but there is no sense of enthusiasm either. Its just one of those state of mind, when you are waiting for an external stimulus to wake you up and break the inertia....Even though you might try to break through the whole thing, efforts do not necessarily fructify, 'cause the sum total of efforts is also negative....Ok ...hope to bring some smile on with the next blog....