Gupta ki Shaadi - 1

This is an extension of the story on Gupta, "Dil, dosti etc.."

Gupta got married this 12 february 2009 or 13 february 2009(I mean, the North Indians get married in the weee hours of the morning, I am left confused as to the exact date of the marriage. Or may be they like to spread the agony in the subsequent years for the two days) whatever..how does it matter..I think he is married....I havnnt called him up after I left the premises, not that he would pick up the phone anyways these days...But there were a few suggestion that we should check if he actually got married, 'cause we left before the lagan...(How silly really, no wonders that the suggestion came from yours truly)

In the winter of 2000, Gupta used to tell me, "Srini bhai, Main shaadi aisi karoonga ki duniya dekhegi.." I used to giggle and wonder what can you do in a marriage after all. How much can you innovate in tambu, pandit, baraat, food and invitation? But he proved me grossly wrong?

As I mentioned in one of my earlier blogs, how me and Gupta have grown apart. Thats besides the point. So, Mr. Gupta prior to the Shaadi-waadi organised a bachelors party. I told him that I will try to make it. I was returning from Jaipur, when I get this frenzy of calls from the friends. "Arey u going?"..."I will go, if you go"....."Arey how will we return"....."Sharaab milegi kya???"..."Bhaiyya, Baniyon ki shaadi me sharaab kaise milegi..??"....."babu, wht bachelors this is? no sharaab only veg springrole..."......"Guys, are we goin or not....If we go then how do we return.."......"Boss , if there is no liquor I am not going.."......"Kya baat kar raha hai? Gupta ki bachelors kaise miss kar sakta hai??"...."arey yaar, itni door jaakar naachne ke liye dope milna to zarruri hai na.."....."Arey function kab chalu hona hai??"....."Around 8 or may be 9"......."Liquor for only 2 hours.....what nonsense????".......and there were endless discussions on the conference call with no apparent solutions and then Gupta entered the conference call......

Gupta: where r u guys??? (Panting...guess he was dancing....."beedi jalaile" was playing in the background)

Caller 1: Bhaai, Srini is returning from Jaipur...uska mushkil hai
Caller 2: Bhai daru hogi?
Gupta: Only on demand..
Caller 2: Meaning
Gupta: Meaning preferably no.....
Caller 3: Kya baat kar raha hai? Abey ladkiyaan to bulaai hai na...??
Gupta: What are you saying? No ladki shadki.....but gathering acchhi hai
Me: Jaise???
Gupta: Mummy, Daddy, Behen, jeeja, bua, phupha, taya, mama, mami, bareilly wale uncle aur unki wife...
Me: Did u invite Baba Raamdev??

Long silence..........

Then a huge burst of laughter....
Gupta: You guys coming or not??
In chorus: We will try...


None of us went eventually.......


But we eagerly awaited his marriage.....

Chicken Do Pyaaza

There were times when we used to pass "Barafkhana" while going back to our home to Timarpur, when my mother would cover my eyes and nose (allowing my mouth free for ventilation, thank you mom for that...). In those days 8 year olds never questioned the acts of their parents unlike today when kids typically have an opinion on everything from toys to sex. For the first couple of trips I didn't protest. But the seeds of protest were already sown , and they were slowly germinating.

So, finally one day I looked outside the window, to have my first glimpse of "Non-Vegetarian" food hanging mercilessly on a tandoor as if sentenced to a death sentence by hanging. I saw those wierd objects hanging. I wondered what they were. I didnt find the smell repulsive. I asked my mother what it was, my mother preferred silence and asked me to look elsewhere.

When we returned home, I was told that it was what they called "Non-vegetarian" food. I was told that brahmins are not supposed to consume it. It was unhealthy (as justified later in science books in 6th standard that the pesticides eventually reach the humans through that food chain gyaan), it was against our ethos. There were tales exchanged at family gatherings at how one of my cousins vommitted when somebody placed an omlette on his bench. And that somehow in many ways re-inforced that it could in fact be toxic or whatever.


Me and sister were always the adventurous trips. We discovered that omlette was an amazing dish. And when once my parents were away, both of us cycled to the nearby shop to buy those two "Humpty Dumpty"s. We rushed back home, and made two delicious omlettes garnished with coriander leaves, onion, ginger and tomatoes. As we finished hogging, we realized that our small two room flat was filled with the smell of the "Humpty Dumpty"s. We then lit two agarbatties and ran around the home trying to ward of the smell like it was some evil spell. When my parents returned they were obviously quite taken aback at the sudden religious feelings with the house filled with the smell of the agarbatties. They soon discovered the crime, when they found the broken shells and we were given a good dressing down. Not to be outdone, the audacity was carried out on a number of occasions by the same miscreants but we had soon perfected the art and were never caught. But I still had never had the chickens and the muttons of the world.


The first time I consumed was an accident when I returned late from a tour and the hotel attendant offered me some food. After enjoying it I asked him what it was, he said, "Mutton sambhar, sarrr". For a second I was speechless. I was not as much a brahmin I guess since neither did I vomit nor did I have a sleepless night. Since then I have ensured to try as many dishes to familarise myself with the cuisines in Non-vegetarian. From sea food to continental I tried to experiment with every dish. Have had enough though and feel that nothing can beat Vegetarian food.

A few days back, Dev said to me, "Lets make chicken do pyaaza". I replied in affirmative. Now, a chicken or a mutton is a dish when presented in a plate is appetizing, but its a different one when you see it alive and literally kicking. Dev said, "Tum rehne do, I will get a fresh chicken....I dont think you will be able to stand it.."....I was taken aback at the impudence with which Dev said it and I decided to go throught the whole thing.

So, we went to the nearby kasai. Dev chose a chicken. What happened after that was quite shocking to me. The chicken started to shreik as if it knew that its end was near. With one swipe of knife over the neck of the chicken, the blood started to ooze out. To avoid the blood show before everyone, the beheaded chicken was put in a closed container. After ten mins, its bereft of life & is a vegetable. The body is releived of its feathers & insides(except the liver, which is supposed to be the most delicious part of the chicken). The whole thing is then chopped off into little pieces to enure easier transportation.

We went to Dev's home. We spent two hours making the dish. With loads of ghee, masala, chopped onions, tomatoes, mirchi, spices & what not. The recipe was just perfect. With a scotch in one hand, the dinner seemed just perfect. But somehow I kept thinking about the poor chicken.

Now in the entire sequence of cutting and chopping, I stood there with total insensitivity. As if It was not the chicken which got slaughtered, but rather my own sensitivity towards many a things around me. I asked Dev, "What kind of people we are & what kind of life this chicken has?"...Dev's resposne was immediate, "Our life is definitely pathetic, but the chicken will go to jannat. Its purpose was to fulfill our hunger & complete our lives and make us happy...we are still groping for our purpose......"

A definite fact is to respect the life of other beings, but then many of us are definitely & consciously denying others the opportunity to survive & prosper. And surprisingly it has nothing to do with survival. Its all about the greed. And there is definitley no glory in getting sacrificed in this way.

Sometimes, I wonder....staring at the "Chicken-do-pyaaza".....What a chicken's life??